Pizza Roll Mondays
by MissRoRoMox
Summary: Asia Breedan, an eighteen year old college freshman, has been interning for The Shield during the summer. Since she has been working with the three large men, she has turned not only The Shield's lives upside down, but also the entire WWE locker room is flipped because of her. Since the young girl's arrival, the locker rooms have been filled with more laughter and pranks than ever.
1. Pizza Roll Mondays

**A/N: Please, whatever you do, do not take this story seriously. This idea popped into my head at 3am.**

_Asia Breedan, an eighteen year old college freshman, has been interning for The Shield during the summer for about five weeks. Since she has been working with the three large men, she has turned not only The Shield's lives upside down, but also the entire WWE locker room is flipped because of her, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Since the young girl's arrival, the locker rooms have been filled with more laughter and pranks than ever before. Much to The Shield's dismay, however, this girl is the reason for the three men's inability to trust anyone backstage or to even sleep without fear of waking up with a shaven head._

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><p><strong>~Pizza Roll Mondays~<strong>

"Dean, give it back!"

Asia's loud, feminine voice is what jerked the powerhouse, Roman Reigns out of his relaxed state. Catering was surprisingly quiet that Monday afternoon. Everyone was lounging around, minding their own business, and since the arena was particularly small, it was the only place that Roman could find that he could sit and isolate himself for a few minutes before his match against Kane for the main even of Raw.

The silence in catering was short-lived, of course, since Dean and The Shield's young intern, Asia, zoomed passed him. Roman shot the two of them an annoyed look, but neither of them paid him any attention. _Every fucking Monday_, Roman thought to himself as he shook his head and turned the volume of his music up full blast. The loud music flowed through his headphones and into his ears, drowning out the commotion that Dean and Asia were causing. As soon as Roman closed his eyes to try to get himself back into his relaxed state, his headphones were jerked from his head, taking a few strands of his long, dark hair with them. The loud music was then replaced with a high pitched voice shouting at him.

"Roman, control your children!"

Roman's eyes flew open wide only to see the face of former Funkadactyl, Cameron. Roman already imagined himself spearing her through a table just for touching his stuff, but that thought was instantly gone when he looked across the room to see Asia and Dean on the floor wrestling with each other over what seemed to be a phone. Multiple superstars and divas were circled around them either shouting at them to stop or cheering them on. Roman sighed dramatically and shoved his phone into Cameron's hands.

"Hold this," he said and rushed over to the two "children". Without breaking a sweat at all, Roman grabbed the back of Asia's shirt and practically lifted her off of Dean who was on the floor laughing and cradling the phone that the two had been fighting over. Asia was both impressed and shocked that Roman had lifted her off of Dean because she is in no way a small or skinny girl. She was not extremely obese either, but she weighed a little over 200 pounds so it surprised her. A few superstars, mainly the Miz, who was being mimicked by his stunt double, Damien "Mizdow", started to boo Roman for breaking up the fight, but were quickly silenced by a sharp look from Roman. Before Roman could even open his mouth to yell at either Dean or Asia, Dean quickly sat up and shouted, "Tom! Catch!" and threw the phone at an unsuspecting and innocent Tom Phillips, who unfortunately was standing a couple yards away and was in the middle of eating a pizza roll. Tom quickly looked up at the sound of his name to see a large purple phone soaring toward his face. Out of instinct, Tom reached up and caught the phone right before it hit his face, but he could not prepare for the short, black girl that came barreling at him screaming, "Give me my phone!"

Roman could only stand and stare in shock and horror as the girl who somehow managed to slip from his grip, ran at Tom and tackled him before the poor guy could even move…or swallow his pizza roll.

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><p>"There are going to be few changes around here," Vince said. "First, Shield, this little feud going on between you and Asia needs to end. Now."<p>

He scolded them like little children.

"Second, since you and _Dean_," He said looking Asia and the 'lunatic fringe', who were both sitting and staring at the floor, "cannot seem to get along, I am now requiring that the both of you spend at least two hours with each other for the next week. You will work everything out, you will learn to communicate in a more passive manner, and Roman, since this whole thing seems to stem from you—"

"What!" Roman shouted, but Vince was not phased. "You are required to supervise them. Starting tomorrow, the three of you will be working out your differences."

Roman opened his mouth to object but quickly closed it when Vince gave him a look that told him that there would be no point in arguing. _I can never catch a fucking break around here_, Roman thought.

Seth's shoulders shook as he laughed at the expressions on the faces of Roman, Asia and Dean. When he was summoned into Vince McMahon's office, he was at first terrified, because he had no idea what was going on, but since being told the entire story, he couldn't stop himself from laughing every other minute.

"And third, because of that little scene in catering, Tom has been sent to the hospital! He has been extremely traumatized and his doctor recommends that he stays away from pizza rolls. What that means is, there will no longer be Pizza Roll Mondays."

As soon as Vince's speech was over, Seth's shoulders suddenly stopped shaking and his eyes got wide.

"What?" Seth shouted loudly with extreme concern, causing everyone in the room to jump in their seats. "You're kidding, right?"

Vince's angry expression formed into a sad one. He sighed and then said, "No, sadly, Tom was sent to the hospital about an hour ago because that tackle he received caused a strain in his back. He also-"

"No, not that!" Seth interrupted. Everyone gave him a confused look, but Seth did not care. "You're canceling Pizza Roll Mondays?!"

As Seth spoke, his voice gained a whiny tone, like a child, "But Pizza Roll Monday is my favorite day! Those pizza rolls are what motivate me to do my best in the ring, and you're taking them away from me?"

Vince gave an aggravated grunt and said, "Get out of my office."

The four of them slowly walked out of the office, with Seth as the tail. From the entire walk to the car, to the whole drive back to the hotel, Seth grumbled about how he was being punished for something that he had nothing to do with.

"Thanks a lot, guys," he whined. "Now we can't even have any more pizza rolls."

Roman sighed in annoyance and said, "If I buy and cook you pizza rolls every Monday, will it make you shut the hell up?"

"It's not the same!" he said, waving his hands through the air.

_I can never catch a fucking break, _Roman once again thought to himself as he shook his head.

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><p><strong>Please review and tell me what you think, Love! Like I said, this story popped into my head when I was half asleep at 3am and for some reason I felt obligated to write it.<strong>


	2. Pink

**I swear this story doesn't even make any sense. I apologize for the fuckery that is this story, but I can't stop myself.**

~Pink~

The piercing scream outside of Seth Rollins' hotel room yanked him out of his short nap and almost gave him a heart attack. He instantly knew that it was Asia and decided to just ignore whatever was going on. _It has nothing to do with me. It never does, _Seth thought to himself. He pulled his thin sheet and blanket further up his body and wrapped them around his shoulder as he turned to his side and tried to go back to sleep, but before he could even get completely comfortable, a loud pounding on the door caused him to almost jump out of his skin.

"Seth! SETH! Open the door, hurry up—please!" Seth heard Asia screaming on the other side of the door. Seth groaned and then whined, "Asia go away! I'm trying to get some sleep here—"

"Seth open this damn door!"

"No!"

"SETH!"

Seth huffed and roughly tossed the covers off of him and stomped towards the door. As soon as he unhooked the bolt and turned the knob, the door flew open, almost causing Seth to fall backwards. "Asia what the f—"

Asia rushed into Seth's room and then shoved him in front of her.

"Shut the door," Asia screeched. "Shut it!"

Obviously whatever was going on out in that hallway had Asia terrified, so Seth thought it was best to just do what she says, so he rushed to close the door. Before Seth could completely shut the door, it was once again shoved open, but this time, the door connected with Seth's forehead, causing him to instantly drop to the floor. Seth's eyes unfocused for a few seconds, but quickly refocused….onto a wet, angry, and half naked Roman Reigns. Roman stood over Seth with nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist, and a white towel also wrapped around his head. _Thank God he's not standing directly over me. _Seth got ready to yell at Roman, but decided against it when he realized how angry Roman _really _was. He was seething, breathing harshly and shaking. Seth noticed that Roman was not even looking at him, his eyes were completely focused on the short girl standing a few feet away. Asia looked and felt even smaller under Roman's harsh gaze.

"H-hey, Big Man," Asia stuttered with a nervous laugh.

"Fix it!" were the only words that came out of Roman's mouth. He looked as if he could lunge at Asia at any second, so Seth slowly stood up and put himself between Roman and Asia.

"Okay, guys," Seth said cautiously. "What. Is going. On?"

Neither Asia nor Roman answered Seth's question. Both of them just continued to stare at each other. Roman's eyes held anger, while Asia's held fear.

"Look," Asia said. "RoRo—"

Roman literally growled at Asia and said once again, "Fix. It….NOW!"

"I can't!"

"What do you mean you can't?"

"It can't be washed out for another three days—"

"Three days!" Roman yelled. "Raw is tomorrow, and you expect me to walk around like this?" Roman's hand jerked up to point at the towel wrapped around his head.

Seth's eyes lifted to look at Roman's head. _What the hell is he talking about? _Without thinking, Seth reached up to yank the towel off. Roman grunted when Seth accidentally pulled some of his hair with the towel but other than that, he did nothing. The gasp that left Seth's mouth could probably be heard three rooms away. _Oh..ssshhhiiitttt. _Seth silently took in the sight of Roman's long and now pink hair. _It's not even a tasteful pink, _Seth thought. Roman's hair was entirely too dark to just throw in a bright pink so Roman's hair just looked like burnt cotton candy. _Is that even a thing_?

"Well," Asia said, breaking the minute-long silence. "At least it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month."

Without any warning, Roman pushed Seth out of the way and lunged at Asia, causing her to scream and run away. The two sprinted around Seth's small hotel room. They looked almost like a cat and a mouse, but instead of a cat, Roman was more like a lion. Seth could do nothing but watch and yell at them to stop…he also prayed to God that the towel around Roman's waist did not fall off of him while he was in the presence of the young intern.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night Raw!" Michael Cole's voice sang out of the speakers of the monitor that Asia was watching the show on backstage along with her two friends Naomi and Paige. Usually, Asia would be very excited to see the show unfold, but that night, she was nervous and scared. She knew that Roman would be opening the show to cut a promo and she had not seen him since the night before when he chased her out of Seth's hotel room. The only reason she had gotten away with her life was because they had both ran into Jimmy Uso…literally.

"_Roman, stop! I'm sorry!" Asia screamed as she ran down a completely different hallway than they were originally on. How they got in a hallway that was two floors below the one that Seth's room was on? No one knows._

"_Romaaaannn-oooph!" Once again, Asia has tackled another unsuspecting man, but this time, the man was Jimmy Uso and Jimmy Uso did not go down as easily as poor Tom Phillips. Actually, Jimmy Uso did not go down at all. When Asia ran into Jimmy, she ended up bouncing off of him and falling onto the floor. Since Roman was hot on her tail, he did not have time to stop himself before he tripped over a fallen Asia and flew directly into Jimmy…now he went down, with Roman on top of him. _

_Asia hopped up from the floor, sighing in relief when she saw that Roman had finally been stopped, but her relief turned to shock when she saw Roman laying on top of Jimmy. The towel that was around Roman's waist was no longer where it was supposed to be. Asia had never seen the back-side of Roman before. She had never seen any side of Roman before, so when she got a clear view of Roman's whole ass, her first reaction was to scream._

"_It's so pale!" She shrieked. Jimmy looked at her confused until he realized what she was talking about. His eyes widened at the realization that his cousin was not only on top of him, but he was completely naked. With all of his might, he shoved Roman off of him before Roman could even get a chance to collect himself after the fall. Fortunately for everyone, Roman stayed on his stomach so he was not more exposed than he already was._

"_What the hell is wrong with you, Uce?" Jimmy yelled._

_Roman ended up getting himself together and calmed down before anything else could go wrong. With the help of Jimmy, Roman and Asia were both able to tell their sides of the story in Jimmy's hotel room after Jimmy got Roman some clothes so he wouldn't have to take a walk of shame all the way back to his room. _

_Asia explained to Jimmy that when Roman came to her and asked if he could borrow some of the conditioner that hotel provided her with since the small bottle that was given to him could only take care of half of his hair, Asia gave Roman specific directions about which bottle was which because Asia always brings her own products with her wherever she goes. It wasn't her fault that Roman was always in a hurry and never pays attention to her, she explained to Jimmy._

_It was Breast Cancer Awareness Month and Asia wanted to show her support by adding a couple of pink streaks into her hair. How was it her fault that the bottle of hair dye was extremely similar to the bottle of conditioner that Roman was supposed to take?_

Throughout Roman's entire night, he had to deal with comments about his "festive hair". A lot of the divas thought that it was sweet that he was taking part in the cause, and he couldn't bring himself to tell people that he had nothing to do with the hair situation, but he swore that if he heard Jerry "The King" Lawler mention his hair one more time he was going to snap. No matter what was going on in the ring, be it a divas match, a tag-team match or anything, The King would somehow manage to bring the topic back to Roman's hair.

When the night was finally over, Roman could not wait to rush to the shower and try to wash the dye out of his hair. When he started to scrub his hair with his shampoo, to Roman's surprise, the dye came right out. He did not realize, however that as the dye fell from his hair, it stained his face, his shoulders, his chest, everything. He looked like he had some kind of cartoonish skin disease. The horror he felt when catching a glimpse of himself in a mirror after the shower was nothing compared to the horror that Asia felt when she heard him yelling about it a few rooms down.

_I can never catch a break, _Roman once again, thought to himself.


End file.
